Normal

I've known for a long time that I'm not "normal". I don't think the same way other people do, I don't act the same way other people do...the only thing that's "normal" about me, is my appearance. And even then, that's not always true.

But I can't believe that I'm the only one who experiences the following:

Every day I drive in my car. Well, at least Monday through Friday, to and from work. And every day some asshole drives like an idiot, like he's trying to commit suicide. When said asshole gets near me, instantly in my head I see a "vision" of what could happen.

Such as yesterday. Someone almost slammed into the back of my car while I was going 70, they were probably going 80 or 85. So, instantly I saw in my head a little play. My car went over the barrier (which I was going over a bridge) my car crumpled into the ground and I lay there, bleeding to death trying to call my husband to tell him that I loved him one last time before I died. But he didn't pick up, because he was at work, and couldn't, and didn't know what was going on. So I left him a voicemail, telling him I loved him, and then I died.

So, that all flashed through my brain in about five seconds.

And someone doesn't have to be driving recklessly for me to have "visions" like that. To see the different possibilities, none of them good. All involve me being horribly hurt, killed, something bad. Every day when I drive, I see this, probably 20 or 30 little ones, though the one yesterday left more of an imprint on me. Normally I just "see" them, and then forget.

What is normal? And why the fuck can't I just be that.